MAKE A POWERFUL ENTRY IN 2013

A fascinating year is about to end. It is only about a week before 2013 starts.

There are two things that you can do:

1. Make a powerful entry into 2013; or,

2. Float into 2013 and happen to show up in the New Year.

I am certain you would like to make a powerful entry into the New Year and make 2013 the best year you’ve had till now. If that’s what you are interested in, read on.

So that you can make an authoritative and a commanding entry in the New Year, it is important to do a review of the last year (2012) and take stock. I am going to recommend a set of questions that you ask yourself. I have broken these questions into 2 parts – one that reviews and completes 2012 and another set that helps you declare your goals for the next year.

It is important to know ‘What is so’ about your life at the end of 2012; and then ‘where do you want to be this time next year’ so that you can make an unassailable entry into 2013 and achieve the goals for the New Year. These questions will help you get a deeper understanding of where you are today and where you want to be this time next year.

I am suggesting this to you after having completed this exercise and I can state out of experience, once you have done so, you will be making a very powerful entry in to the New Year.

1. What have I achieved in 2012?

While answering this question, what I did was to break up my life into important areas and identified what is it that I achieved in each of these important areas of my life, such as: my personal life; my work; my health & well-being; and, Gift Your Organ Foundation (NGO);

Just writing down my achievements in each of these areas gave me a great sense of achievement and a lot of power to look at audacious and bold goals for the New Year!

I suggest you identify the important areas of your life and list out your achievements in each of these areas.

2. What did I learn new in this year?

I have a keen interest in reading and continuously developing myself and one of the ways I evaluate my growth is based on the new things that I learn. I can easily state that 2012 has been a year of a lot of lessons for me, a year of a lot of new knowledge that I gained and the most important recognition of how much I don’t know yet and still need to gain. The more I learn, the more I feel I don’t know enough and hence the more I want to learn.

3. What is it that I want to acknowledge myself for in this New Year

We perpetually see the good in others and compare ourselves to others. No wonder then that most times we fall short. This is the time of the year to step back for a few moments and pat yourself on the back for all the good that you are and all the good that you have done. I made a detailed list of points that I wanted to acknowledge myself for. I acknowledged myself for the various achievements of the year in different areas of my life, to something as simple as acknowledging my new found patience in certain trying situations. I discovered a new me in this process of acknowledging myself. Try it, it is a lot of fun, I promise!

4. What is it that I missed out on this year?

I missed out on a few of targets and certain self development goals. By simply distinguishing what I missed out in the last year, it has helped me re-evaluate these targets and goals and the ones that continue to hold its importance in my life have found a place in what I want to achieve in the New Year.

5. What do I want to achieve in 2013?

There are two ways to approach any goal in your life – one is to first identify ‘what’ is your goal and then figure out the ‘how’. The other is to first look at the resources that you have, the effort that it will take, and then determine your goal. A lot of people first look at the ‘how’ and based on the `how’, they decide the ‘what’, i.e., their goal.

I am firm believer that you need to figure out the ‘what’ first and the ‘how’ will take care of itself. Think of all your dreams, make them specific, make them measurable, put a deadline on these dreams and go after them! If there is sincerity in your effort, the universe will conspire to achieve these goals.

Break down the important areas of your life and identify ‘where would you like to be this time next year’ in each of these areas. Like I did while reviewing 2012, I have identified where I want to be this time next year in my personal life, my work, health and the gift Your Organ Foundation. I also included places I want to travel in 2013 and other fun things that I would like to do and people that I would like to meet.

6. What new do I want to learn in the New Year?

I have also indentified what new I want to learn in the New Year. There are some specific goals that I have for myself in this area and I am committed to achieving these goals of gaining new knowledge. There are some courses that I have identified and will commence in the New Year.

Feel free to add more questions if you would like. The more you question yourself, the more you will seek answers from yourself.

Once you have done this, one last but an extremely important thing that will be required is that you will need a structure of people around you with whom you will need to share these goals; people who will not allow you to be lackadaisical and will continuously remind you of each of your goals; people who will hold you accountable to take actions to achieve these goals.

I have created a solid structure of people around me and those of you who would like to participate in this structure are welcome to email me (sameer@sameerdua.com ).

I can guarantee you, once you have done this, you will not only make a powerful entry in 2013, you will conquer the year!

Make 2013 count in your life!

Good luck and have a blast!

‘I FELT MY FATHER’S DEATH HAD A PURPOSE’

In the last two years, one of the starting points of conversations has been the Gift Your Organ Foundation. Interestingly, I get introduced by my friends to people as one of the founders of the Gift Your Organ Foundation and from there on the conversations most times begin with Organ Donation, the organ transplantation scene in India, the work done by the Gift Your Organ Foundation and so on.

Last week, I had a close friend who had come over and was staying with me. He had visitors visiting him and I had the pleasure of being introduced to them. One of them was Amisha (name changed), a friend from Bombay. In this case, my friend had already spoken to Amisha about the Gift Your Organ Foundation and that I was involved with it even before we got introduced.

Not too far in the conversation, Amisha mentioned to me that her father’s eyes were donated and she had confirmation that two people got their eyesight because of her father’s donation. With moist eyes, she stated, ‘I felt my father’s death had a purpose’. I could listen to the pride in her voice and that pride to some extent had overcome the grief of her father’s demise.

That her father had to die was not in her control, but to give her father’s demise a purpose was in her control and she did exactly that.

In the last two years, I have seen so many such instances and each one of them is similar in this one sense. The family has such deep love for the deceased member and that love drives them to donate organs / tissues of the person.

Donating organs provides a new perspective to death. It provides a perspective of life after death, a perspective not of pain, but one which gives a lot of satisfaction and pride.

For information on Organ Donation and to pledge your organs, please visit the Gift Your Organ Foundation website. For any questions or clarifications, please email celebrate@giftyourorgan.org

GET ON THE COURT!

The India – England One Day Cricket series is coming up after the Test series. Imagine the first One – Day match between India and England is in progress. Sachin Tendulkar is batting and India need 300 runs to win. In the stands, there are 40,000 people watching the match and each one of these 40,000 in the crowd has an advice for how Sachin Tendulkar should be playing to ensure India’s success in the match. Some want Sachin Tendulkar to get acclimatized to the conditions, the pitch and the bowlers before he gets aggressive; some others believe that India need a huge total to win and there is no time for acclimatization, if Tendulkar goes slow in the beginning, then the pressure will be upon the middle order to score at a higher run rate in the later part of the innings.

How do all these views matter to Sachin Tendulkar? Zero! Nothing at all! Waste of time!

Tendulkar, on the pitch there (read on the court), will do exactly as he thinks he should be doing. All these views of the entire 40,000 odd crowd mean nothing to him. And thank God for that! If Sachin Tendulkar took all these views every time he went to bat, one thing was for sure – he would have not lasted for 20 years in this very pressurizing and ever demanding game of cricket; more so in this country of cricket freaks!

Let’s now cut back to your life. Are you on the court as far as your own life is concerned? Are you taking actions to deliver results towards achieving your goals? I want to you to really think hard about this question. Most people I interact with regularly keep saying things like, I have wanted to go to the gymnasium for so many months now but just cannot get myself to; or, I have been planning to start my business but am waiting for the right opportunity; and so one and so forth.

Being on the court means being in action and not wondering what people around you are saying. Listening to too many will shake your conviction and take you off your course.

Then there these others who do get on to the court, but seek approval, assurance and views from the ‘people on the stands’. Sure seek others views; and that actually is a great idea. However, the views that are important are that of your coach, team mates, captain (read Manager), etc. Certainly not of the ‘people on the stands’. (And if you do not have a coach yet, seriously consider getting one.)

Being on the court means being the cause in the matter. Remember, it’s actions that you take that lead to your performance. History is evidence of the fact that no one has ever won the game by being on the stands.

Get on the court and feel the heat! Feel the heat of the perspiration, feel the heat of responsibility. Remember when you last went to the gym and after a hard hour’s workout, you so enjoyed the sweat rolling down your cheek. That stinking sweat was very important to stretch yourself, and make you a healthier person. Similarly, being on the court and taking actions is extremely important in stretching yourself and making you a successful person.

The problem for a lot of people is not that they don’t know what to do; the problem is that they don’t simply do it.

PROFESSOR 'BEGS' IN LOCAL TRAIN TO EDUCATE THE POOR

"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth." -- Muhammad Ali.

After many years, over 12 - 15 years maybe, I boarded an Andheri-Churchgate fast train to get to Bombay Central. I had about 40 minutes before my meeting at the RTO office at Bombay Central to meet the RTO to discuss the organ donation option on the drivers license in Maharashtra. I thought the train would be the fastest way to get to my destination.

What followed soon after I boarded the fast train was nothing short of fascinating. I was catching up on news on the Times of India Blackberry Application and reading about Ajit Pawar's resignation. I then noticed a 'beggar' who was well dressed and who introduced himself loudly in the first class compartment of the train in a deep, sure voice stating 'I am Prof. Sandeep Desai' .

Just hearing the word 'Professor' caught my attention. A Professor? Begging? In a local train? - and someone who spoke such immaculate English? He could get a job anywhere, I thought.

I was now more interested in what he was saying than reading about Ajit Pawar's resignation. The Professor continued saying that those who donated food to the poor, sort out their problem only for a day. But if the donations are made for their education, then it can resolve a poor man’s life. He added, 'Education gives you the power to change your life. So I have decided to set up one English medium school in a year.'

What? You identify a problem and then make it so personal that you beg in the train for money? How crazy is that? Crazy it is, because Professor Sandeep Desai went on to add 'So far, we have managed to start four schools in Maharashtra. The fifth school will be set up in rural Rajasthan. We have already bought land there and construction will start soon”. Four schools set up with money 'begged', and the fifth one in process!! UNBELIEVABLE!

He claimed to have won the Real Hero award by CNN IBN. Here was a 'real hero' begging in a train. I made a mental note to see if he indeed had won this award, and yes he did! I actually checked.

People choose their problems. Some choose their maids and drivers to be their problems; while others like Prof. Sandeep Desai make the country's lack of education their own personal problem. How inspiring! Next time, remind me of Prof. Sandeep Desai when I complain about funding for the Gift Your Organ Foundation. Or maybe, I will not complain again? Maybe I will just get down to business - wonder if I have the courage that Prof. Sandeep Desai has?

Post Script:

1. I was so inspired with Prof. Sandeep Desai that I completed this blog (including checking whether or not he won the Real Heroes award before completing my journey home);
2. However, I had to speak to this man - I found his number and spoke to him - if there's anyone who would like to support Prof. Desai's efforts, I'll be happy to forward his email Id and /or telephone number to you;
3. In case you are wondering - lots of people did put money in the donation box carried by Prof. Desai. And, he acknowledged, with the same grace, everyone who put a fiver, a tener or a hundred rupee note in his donation box. I also overhead a student volunteering to teach physics to the students of Prof. Desai's school.

Such was this man's impact!

LIFE IS A GAME

‘Life is a game. In order to have a game, something has to be more important than something else. If what already is, is more important than what isn’t, the game is over. So, life is a game in which what isn’t, is more important than what is.’ Werner Erhard

Life becomes very exciting when you treat it is a game. Our understanding of games is that games are fun, exciting and challenging. It becomes even more exciting when the opposition team is a good solid team and come what may, you want to win the game against this opposition. The thrill of beating an opposition considered better than you is unparalleled. And this is when the game is worth playing.

Consider now that your life is a game. Meeting your targets at work is a game; bringing up your child is a game; getting into shape and being fit is a game; earning an adequate amount of money to afford the lifestyle that you want is a game.

There are two types of games that you can play. One that you have always been playing every day, and even winning. Some people play the game of simply waking up in the morning and showing up at work. This is their game and they seem to be satisfied with this game. It works for them.

Does this work for you?

Right now, you are playing a game – the question is – Is this game that you are playing now worthy of you? Games have to be worthy of you. Can you imagine Vishwanathan Anand playing a game of chess with a local player and enjoying winning the game with him? Similarly, can you imagine Ratan Tata investing his time in acquiring a 10 -15 crore company. No chance! These people are playing games that are worthy of them.

The idea is to make it large; to make this game mighty; mightier than you are; bigger than a game you have ever played before. There is no fun in playing games that are not a challenge; that are not bigger than you are; and in effect; that which are not worthy of you!

Ask yourself, is simply going to the stadium your game? (and right now do ask yourself this question!).

I can tell you, if you answer this question honestly, a lot of you will say ‘Yes’ to this question. And if so, I suggest you get on to the court - Feel the heat of being on the court! Feel the pressure of playing an exciting game!

This can be different for different people.

Games are played and for your life to be a game, you need to ‘play’ the game of life. So, what does play mean?

The dictionary meaning of play is 'Exercise or activity for amusement or recreation'; now, look at how close the meaning of the word ‘Work’ is. Work is defined as 'an activity that is productive'. So, both words ‘play’ and ‘work’ mean ‘activity’, however, one is for amusement or recreation and the other is activity that is productive.

Now look at any successful person that you know off, and you will realize that this person did not differentiate between work and play. For them work was indeed play and play was work itself. They are involved in activities that are for amusement or recreation and are also simultaneously productive.

So, in conclusion, dismantle or collapse the difference between work and play. Go out and have fun. Make that fun productive for you; and so that you indeed expand, take on a game that you have never ever even imagined before!

I can guarantee you – you will surprise yourself!!

GET PRESENT TO YOUR INTERNAL CONVERSATIONS

Right now as you are starting to read this blog, there is an internal conversation going on in your mind. Your mind is perpetually in a conversation. Without you even trying, your mind makes meanings out of everything. It is automatic and you don’t even stop and think about it. The meanings that you make significantly affect the way you be (your being). And the way you be determines the way you respond or react to situations and circumstances.

Consider the last time you made a call and that the person suggested that s/he would call you back. You waited and waited for that call but that call never came. What meaning did you make at that time – that you are not cared for; the person doesn’t respect you; that person is arrogant; the person is playing games with you; and so on and so forth. The job of the mind is to make a meaning out of everything. And it mechanically makes a meaning out of everything, without you even realizing it. The real reason why the person did not call you back could be far from the meaning you made of it. But you continue to act in sync with the meaning you made. The important thing about the meaning you have made is that it changes the way you feel (your being) and these feelings change the way you interact with the world.

Stop reading this for a moment and think, right now, what are your current internal conversations? For example, your spouse may have said to you that she will not come along for dinner with you at your friend’s residence – what have you made of that statement of your spouse?; or your junior colleague told you that he cannot wait back to complete the task you have given her; or a friend has refused to go for a movie with you; or maybe a young attractive boy / girl has called you to say hello to you. Or anything else for that matter. Stop now and be present to what you are making of clear statements or situations in your life. You are a machine that makes meaning out of everything and once you are done with making meaning, the meaning you have made becomes your truth, on the basis of which you act.

The bad news is that these internal conversations are a part of you and will never stop. The good news is that you have a control over these. Being present to these conversations first is your access to altering these conversations. Once you are present to these internal conversations – you then have a choice to allow that conversation to continue or to alter that conversation.

None of the meanings that you make are better than any others in an absolute way. These are all ‘your’ meanings and not the reality. However, now that you have no choice and your mind is going to make meanings, you have an opportunity to train your mind to make meanings that empower you; make you feel fine and allow you to go through your day with peace and contentment. Generally, your mind naturally produces negative meanings and you then react based on these meanings produced by your mind and considered by you as the reality. Instead of reacting, choose to respond. A reaction is always immediate and normally negative. A response is calm, collected and chosen by you.

Be in control of this and choose your internal conversations rather than be at the mercy of these conversations.

Once again remember, your internal conversation is a matter of your choice – for your own sake be wise in making this choice. It is a far more powerful way to lead your life!

BE A FORCE OF NATURE

There are various quotations of George Bernard Shaw that I like, however, amongst the ones that I like more than the others is the one below:

‘This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.’

The reason that I really like this quotation is because he describes you and me as a Force of Nature. Potentially, each one of us has the power possessed by tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis or volcanoes, but we so undermine ourselves and behave like clods full of complaints and problems refusing to take accountability. I have a smart, intelligent  and a very talented friend who blamed her family for not letting her have a life before her marriage because they were very conservative; and then she blamed her husband for everything that went wrong in her life. As I have mentioned above, she is smart, intelligent and very talented and if she sees herself through my eyes, she will see the potential that she has and how much she is wasting the inborn talent and gifts that she has. However, she insists on being a selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that her world, i.e., her husband and her parents will not devote themselves to making her happy.

The key is to see yourself as a Force of Nature. And once you do this, most of the battle is automatically won. Most people are just not able to see the bigness in themselves and are only seeing the bigness in others. Individually, each one of us can create an impact like that of any other force of nature, and that can happen only when we choose to be used for a purpose recognized by ourselves as a mighty one. There is no right or wrong purpose; it can be anything that lights us up. It has be something that one already doesn’t have, because if one has had it, it does not remain mighty any more. And, for it to also be a mighty purpose, one needn’t know how to achieve the purpose when starting out. Let me quote George Bernard Shaw again here: ‘The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.’

Forces of nature are not reasonable. We know that out of experience.   

I have a friend, Jerry Martin, who in a short span of time has become very dear to me – I call him the Force of Nature, only because he truly epitomizes the phrase ‘Force of Nature’. In the midst of some office crises, he once said to me, ‘A force of nature does not play politics – a force of nature is only focused on what it wants to achieve – petty games are played by mediocre people who are consumed by pulling others down.’ Touché! 

Every citizen in this country has a view on corruption and wants it to end, but it has taken the force of a 70 year old man to bring the mighty government led by the Congress on its knees; a young friend of mine who had a near fatal accident in November 2011, was celebrating my birthday with my friends and me in March 2012 at my house looking and being perfectly ‘normal’ after 6 or 7 surgeries were performed on her in the preceding months; a cousin, who was brought up only by his mother in a modest way, needed to leave his education and start earning at a young age to provide for his mother and two sisters. Today, 15 years hence, he is a Director of a large multinational IT company and owns 4 houses in prestigious locations. These are real life examples of people one can relate with who have risen above the circumstances and been the force.

You have a choice, either be mediocre or be a force – what would you like to be? If you want to be a force, find your mighty purpose, be unreasonable and remain focused to achieving this purpose. If you already are not seeing yourself as a force of nature, you will start to see the force of nature in you emerge.

Check this video out that I am very inspired by: 

Be Unrealistic to Change The World from Logan Kugler on Vimeo.

POWER OF CONTEXT

I felt a great sense of power when I uttered the words, “There will be no deaths in this country for the want of organs”. This is now the vision of the Gift Your Organ Foundation and what we as a Foundation are working towards. Not only the first time, every time I say these words, I still feel the same sense of power that I had felt at the time of first saying this. And this power then urges me to action to achieve what I have just declared. The question that I was left with is how do the words I speak leave me with a sense of power? What can I do to feel this power at all times?

It is the context that I create when I speak that determines what I feel and what action I take. ‘Context’ here means, ‘that which surrounds, and gives meaning to, something else’. I could have stated ‘I hope there will be no deaths in this country for the want of organs’ and the glaring difference between the statements right on the first line and the one above here is the decisiveness of the first statement. In the first statement, there is indisputability, there is definiteness, while in the statement which uses the word ‘hope’ there is an element of uncertainty, a sense of being out of control; a dependence on external factors – external to me and hence there is a loss of power in the second statement.

Context is your answer to the ‘why’. And this applies to everything you want to apply it to. The context you create determines what you do; how you do; and, how you feel when you do. When asked two different doctors why they chose medicine as their profession, one responded by saying to make money and the other responded by saying that he wanted to save lives. Both doctors do the same thing, however, each of them has created a different context for themselves. Nothing wrong with either. One gets empowered by the thought of making money and the other by the thought of saving lives. Both these doctors have chosen to give themselves empowering contexts that which makes them wake up every morning and get to work.

Let us look at this in a slightly differently example – A friend of ours was going through some marital difficulties in her life and one friend stated, ‘I will try to do whatever I can to support her’. Another friend stated, “Who I am is a stand for our friend”. Think of a friend who needs you right now and say these two statements keeping that friend in mind and see the difference you feel when you are saying each of the statements. There is a feeling of power in the second statement; a feeling of being the cause in the matter. Both friends are genuinely concerned about our common friend. One friend will ‘try’ and leave scope for failure and the other is a ‘stand’ – there is no failure is this space.

The good news is that context is created in your language and you have the power to create any context that you want. In a subsequent blog, I will take up creating powerful contexts through language in more detail.

TRANSFORMATION LIES IN CHANGING YOUR PERSPECTIVES

I have been intrigued by how different people respond to exactly the same situation in different ways. For example, if a flight is late, you hear one person crib that the flight is delayed due to a technical failure and that the delay totally messed up their schedules; and on the other end you hear another person celebrate and thank God for the airline finding out the technical failure before the flight taking off. Same situation but diametrically opposite perspectives. What causes these perspectives?; Do we have a choice in choosing our perspectives?; How do these perspectives impact people?

To get answers to these questions, I thought the first thing to do was to see what perspective means? One of the dictionary meanings of perspective is ‘the state of existing in space before the eye’. If you look at this definition closely it states that perspective is what exists in space and not in reality. It is not real, it is only exists in space.

To get a better understanding of the above definition, let’s understand what does space in this context mean? The dictionary meaning of space in this context is ‘a blank portion or area’. If space is a blank portion or area then that means there is nothing in that portion or area. If there is indeed nothing in that blank portion or area, that means you can put in there what you would like, see if it works for you and if it doesn’t; take it out and put in something else that does work for you.

No wonder different people have different perspectives to the same exact situation. The state of what exists (in space and not in reality) is different for different people. Different people decide differently what they would like to exist in this blank space or area before their eye.

So the next question is how can I choose what to put in the blank space? How can you ‘put in’, ‘take out’, and ‘put in something else’ in that blank portion called space?

Perspectives lie in your language. Through language you see a particular situation and that gives you your perspective. So, you can crib that your flight is delayed due to a technical failure and that has totally messed up your schedules; or celebrate and ‘thank God for the airline finding out the technical failure before the flight took off’. Same situation, different perspectives that lie in the blank space and we bring this into existence with our language.

Lets take an example of a lady working at a call centre. One perspective is that her job requires her to answer calls from distressed customers of her organisation and all she does is takes calls and responds to them. The other way of looking at this is that she is supporting her customers in solving their problems. She has the power of delighting them, satisfying them or totally putting them off her organization. This can also be recreated by this lady in her language as this is not her job, but her source of making a living for herself and her family. You can choose your perspective and if the existing perspective does not empower you to take action, then bin that perspective and create another perspective that does empower you to take action.

There is no doubt in the fact that your results are a function of the actions that you take. And, if your actions are determined by your perspectives; by changing the perspective, your actions are automatically changed inside of this new perspective that you have chosen to give yourself. And voila, you get brand new results.

Very regularly I see people jailed by their perspectives. It is important to use your perspectives to empower you and not to be used by your perspectives. It is an opportunity to intellectually challenge yourself and try and bring an even a slight shift and see the impact that slight shift may have on your actions. As you regularly start to challenge your perspectives, you realize how deeply you are consumed by these perspectives and give yourself little or no choice to operate outside a pre-defined view.

I suggest you take on this opportunity and see what opens up for you. You never know, your life may just get transformed.